You’re exhausted. You have a short window to get the kids to bed, or maybe you had a long, hectic day. You struggle to get yourself into a healthy pattern each night to give your body the rest it needs for another productive day. Maybe you watch TV or doomscroll on social media until the late.
Setting a nightly ritual can help you find your calm before the next day begins. That short window of peace is an important practice to have before a night of rest. Finding the right routine can be challenging, but it is well worth the investment.
As a mom of two kids under 5, I can tell you that each night I intend to be productive, but why? After a day of work, chasing kids, and doing a million things around the house, is it really necessary to keep pushing into the evening without giving myself a moment of calm?
In a culture that teaches us we always need to be “on”, how do we break free of that notion? Things can always wait. Giving yourself time to get into the right mental space before bed is crucial.
When I had my first kid, I’d often stay up past my daughter’s bedtime, finishing chores or catching up on work. I was working full-time (starting at 5 a.m.) and working towards a Bachelor’s degree at night. I felt like I could never shut off and that made sleep even harder.
With my second daughter, something finally broke in me for the better. I realized that constantly being “on”, wasn’t healthy. I was chronically tired, stressed and not giving my kids the version of “mom” that they deserved. Yes, there will always be things to do, but learning to prioritize what truly matters made room for a solid nightly ritual (see my post about prioritization here).
How to Create an Evening Ritual That Sticks
- Study your current night routine
Look at what you currently do at night. Get a piece of paper and write down your evening schedule. What do you like about it? What do you dislike? How much time do you have before bed? What habits would you like to begin doing? By being honest with yourself, you can see where you’re lacking or where you want to improve.
- Create a schedule for your evening
Start by identifying how much time you actually have. Even 15 minutes is enough. Schedules are busy, but knowing what time you can dedicate to winding down helps you plan the close of your evening. As you build consistency, you can adjust the length as needed.
- Create your intentions
What do you hope to get from your ritual? There are many ways to create a nightly routine- reading, showering, stretching, prayer, or meditation. The goal is to choose something that is quiet and relaxing.
For example, here’s my current routine:
8:00-8:30p- Kids in bed (fingers crossed)
8:30-9p- shower, face care, brush teeth
9-9:20p- Read a book
9:30p- Lights out
Some nights my kids go to bed earlier or later, and if that happens, I simply adjust the timing. Again, even 15 minutes can be beneficial. It’s about quality, not quantity.
- Give Permission for Imperfection
Every night won’t be perfect, and it’s easy to get discouraged. No matter what ritual you choose, try to stick with it, even if you can’t do it exactly as imagined. You may think “I don’t have time” or “I am too exhausted to follow a routine”. But the idea is to build the habit, not to do it perfectly. The goal is consistency, not perfection. If you put your heart into it, you’ll soon find it’s possible to create a routine worthy of protecting. Try setting one small ritual tonight, even if it’s just 10 minutes, and see how you feel in the morning. You’ll be surprised how much your body (and mind) will thank you.